The Deakins Crew!

End of Year Review

2009-12-22T23:00:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to catch up, but it's been a hard road lately. Ever since my husband lost his clinical psychology position in July due to his PTSD things have gone really downhill. We've had to resort to getting food baskets for Thanksgiving and Christmas. We've had several people from our past come forward again and have rallied around us and helped us with presents for our children for Christmas. Our one and only car broke down back before Thanksgiving and we couldn't afford to get it fixed so I had to sell it to the mechanic. We were out of a vehicle for a month then an old high school friend who is a GM at an auto dealership came forward and actually gave us a vehicle that was traded in at his lot. Completely free. I am so grateful for him. Just gotta do taxes and such, though. But at least that worry is over now. Then recently we had to return our bedroom suite to Aaron's because we couldn't afford it anymore, so now my husband and I share the sectional couch every night. We still have 2 storage units over 2 1/2 hrs away loaded with furniture and lots of things from our past that we got behind on and my parents had to max out a credit card paying the bill up to date before it got sold on us.

So needless to say it's been a year from Hell for us. We go from having $70K+ income to just $15K approx in just a few mths. How we're surviving I don't know sometimes.

I'm just grateful to be alive and hopeful for the future. My husband had two reviews this past couple of weeks also. He had his C&P review for his skins rashes from the gulf couple of weeks ago. He's been rated 0% for them before. Still wondering what they'll rate him now. He had his C&P for his PTSD last Friday. The doctor was quite concerned with his memory and concentration. It has gone downhill badly. His memory is shot. We believe he actually has brain damage that's been getting worse slowly over the years. He's had two incidents of possible rule out strokes in the past few years. One just over a year ago they thought he had encephalitis of the brain. So not sure how that review will go. Anyone with any smarts would know he's gotten worse since the last review of jan 08 when he got his 20% increase from 50 to 70% then for PTSD.

He will be going into the PTSD inpatient program January 6th. Less than 2 wks away now. Please pray I can be strong without him physically here all the time then. He'll be there until March 12th, 2010.

Just a last note of Merry Christmas to all and hope everyone's wish comes true for the New Year!

Lately

2009-12-11T19:05:00.000-05:00

Well another day down. I've been sporadic in here over the past few months. I need to catch up.

Robert is no longer working at the Youth Home , since July 22nd. His PTSD and depression has been majorly exacerbated by losing his job. He had difficulty in finding any other position anywhere in the state of WV. It got to the point that he was put in the hospital back in September for homicidal thoughts of his former supervisor. So, currently we're working on getting him a 100% total disability unemployability from the VA as soon as possible. He will be going into an inpatient PTSD program in January until March. Hopefully that will help eveyrthing.

Christian has had a really major rash since the end of August and it has gotten worse everyday. I've had approximately 6 drs look at him, all with a different diagnosis. Finally I got a referral to get him to a dermatologist at WVU on Monday. Please pray they'll find a cure quickly.

Still Learning

2009-12-09T18:14:00.001-05:00

I'm still learning everyday how to use this thing. I'm so far behind it's crazy. Lots of things have happened since I blogged last June. I need to update soon. Wish I knew how to get all the pics and layouts like everyone else I see on blogger. There's some really neat ones on here.

20th Reunion Picnic Pics

2009-11-19T18:40:00.004-05:00

Who would have thunk it with these two?

Wow..it's been a long time in here..

2009-06-27T02:11:00.003-04:00

Well now, I did not realize how long it had been since I'd blogged on here. So I need to uipdate things a bit I believe. We are now all 4 living in a little town outside of Bridgeport/Clarksburg, WV called Quiet Dell. Robert finally got his doctorate completed after so much struggling over the years with internships and certain supervisors at his grad school. All that pressure is gone now. But he now has a new pressure to deal with. He was lucky enough to get a job right out of school back here in good 'ol West Virginia again. But this time it's about 2 1/2 hours from our home town of Beckley.

He accepted a position as a supervised psychologist at the WV Industrial Home for Youth in Salem, WV. It's abt 30-40 mins from our house. He works M-F 8 or so until about 5 or 6, depending upon what time he went in that morning. He is salary. Yeah! But unfortunately for that he doesn't get paid overtime though. He's got a new stressor though now. He and his supervisor sorta somewhat butt heads I guess. He criticizes Robert on everything he does and treated him like a student. Even got on to him about telling people to call him Dr. What the hey..he went to grad school and is over $100K in debt to deserve to be called Dr.

He actually works for a company called PsiMed contracted to work at the home. So he doesn't get the state benefits and his employers insurance is outrageous. So, unfortunately, right now the kids and I still do not have any kind of health insurance and he makes too much money (did I say that?) to get Medicaid or even Chip for the kids at least. So we'll have to deal with it if we have an emergency come up.

Anyway, we were so fortunate to find a great 3 bedroom brick house with great property around it just outside of town but right by the interstate conveniently. Costs quite a bit, but we're good with it, so far.

The kids seem to love it here. We moved here back around March 23rd and waited til March 30th to put Lexxus in school. She attends Norwood Elementary. Supposedly it's an excellent school in the area because of small classes for one. The first week there was pure hell. She had a couple of conflicts with a few kids and one teacher in particular too. He got on my bad side too. But fortunately I set him straight about his behavior toward my child. Anyway, she ended up having a great ending to her 3rd grade year there for only being there 2 1/2 mths. She ended up getting on the Honor Roll for her class. We were so proud of her.

As for my son, Christian, we decided it was about time for him to be around other kids his own age and put him in daycare part time. He goes to Mother Gooseland at least 3 days a week and loves it. He is learning so much and making friends too. So on June 5th, he "graduated" from 3 yr old class to preK now. So proud of him too.

As for me, I'm still a stay at home mom full time. I "work" every day taking care of my family in every way I can. I help Robert out a bit with his schooling to keep busy too. Sometimes I actually don't know what to do with myself nowadays. I sorta feel I've "lost" myself and trying to find me again day to day.

New Day, New Church, New Beginnings

2008-12-07T17:24:00.000-05:00

Last nite I stayed up until 3 a.m. for some reason...stayed up with my husband watching movies actually. It seemed like the only time we have together anymore...with the kids and his internship taking away from our time we don't have much for each other anymore. But unfortunately, I woke up really late and did not feel like doing anything this day. But my daughter insisted we go to church and how could I deny that to her. And so I begrudgingly get myself together to go.

Today the kids and I went to a new church in the area. Well it's not really new but fairly new. And totally new to us. It was amazing. I walked in and was welcomed by several people guiding me through the halls to where I needed to take my children for their time. Several smiles welcomed me. I was so glad my son didn't scream or cling to me this time. He usually does when we go somewhere new. But this time was great he walked right in smiling. Then I took my daughter to her area of worship and she departed from me like the big girl she is. Then I went around the corner to the main auditorium for main service worship..there was a the aroma of coffee luring me also. But when I walked into the auditorium it was overwhelming. There was fog flowing around..the lights were dimmed and there were several musicians playing on stage like a guitar competition was going on. It was great. They were even playing guitar hero..hilarious. After a few songs of worship we were seated to enjoy a soloist perform Mary Did You Know..my favorite "Christmas" song. He was wonderful. He got the crowd excited with it, also. The sermon was highlighted by the Beatles Revolution tour. Funny huh? They sang Eleanor Rigby..a song of the lonely and weary dying alone...tugged at my heart strings a bit there. But best of all the pastor spoke of the most wonderful song..Mary's song of Luke 2. I never thought of it being a Christmas song..but he said it was the best Christmas song ever and I believe it now.

I was feeling good coming out of that service. I was a changed person again. Forget that mopey angry woman from this morning. Then I called my husband on the phone to see if he wanted to go out to eat or do something and he, unfortunately, was not feeling very good. I had brought him down basically. He did not want to go anywhere or do anything. I then felt very bad. I learned a major lesson that being in a bad mood actually is contagious. So when you're feeling down it's hard to remember that there's other people watching and feeling those feelings too, eventually.

My life in a handbasket!

2008-12-06T12:38:00.001-05:00

I have been struggling to get my kids to understand that "Santa Claus" is watching you. As in you better listen and behave or your get coal..lol. This past week or two have been they have been so hard to deal with.
My daughter is a teenager in an 8 yr old's body. She defies almost everything I ask from her. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I guess I've been doing it all wrong from the beginning it seems. She seems to not care or have respect for me at all and I don't understand it. She literally aggs her brother on to get him started up and yelling too.
Don't get me wrong she has her good moments too. She knows what is right and wrong but doesn't do it for me or her father.
Last nite I wanted to go to Mardel alone for a few minutes to have some "me" time to look around at some books. She insisted she was going and so that got my son going too. The end result they both ended up in the car buckled in before I could get out there and leave without them. She doesn't seem to understand that I might have bought something for her if she hadn't came along too.
I don't know what I'm going to do with them.

Oh my OJ got 15 years!

2008-12-05T14:52:00.000-05:00

Wow can't believe it finally OJ goes to jail...oh well he'll probably appeal and be out forever awaiting trials again for this one too...who knows..